Ow

My head hurts...that is all

I'm poor

My life is a little bit stressful at the moment. I have absolutely no money and I need a lot. We have a couple of shows that I have to drive to and play at, we have to get some money for Cornerstone and I don't have a source of income at the moment. I'm living off of PB and J's and cheap fast food. I'm getting up at 8 in the morning and driving to a new city. I'm hauling equipment around everywhere and worn out from playing shows. I have no idea how to get money for myself after all of this. But I don't care.

Because I couldn't be happier

Nothing...

Even though nothing really is going on right now in this head of mine, I thought I would update. The only thing I'm thinking about is money right now. That along with, touring, girls, printing CDs, getting a job, and realizing I don't have that much to do. But money is priority one. This summer hasn't been all to exciting, but I can't complain. It's a nice change of pace. Plus I get to hang out with people that I don't get to see very often in the school year. I think I'm getting sick. I'm coughing a lot. There is no room for this. Something must be done. Aliyah decided to visit today and sat up by herself for the first time. She's awesome. Just coughed again...and another. Maybe I should start getting more sleep instead of posting a blog near 4 in the morning. There's a song by The Used I could quote here but it has a bad word in it. I'm starting to think that rearranging the keys on my laptop was a bad idea. Especially when I'm laying down with it on my stomach. I'm not using correct typing posture. There goes another cough. Night...

I'm a sucker for a kind word

Ok...now for another boring post about what's been going on in my head. I don't work well when it comes to girls. Why is it that I get attached to any girl who shows me a bit of attention? By the way...I just spelled attached wrong and didn't realize it until I was about to hit publish. I need sleep. Back to the point of the post. I don't trust girls. Yet I let them enter my thoughts and feelings so much that it becomes a problem. The problem is I can do the harmless things when it comes to girls. I can start to like them. I can talk to them, no problem. But I can't get past there. And as much as I sound like a girl, I'm just scared. I haven't opened myself up to a point of vulnerability in quite a while because it took so long for me to put myself back together last time. I've let girls in and out of my life just because of the fact that I can't make myself keep anything going. I'm to the point now where I meet someone new and have two completely different thoughts. One is, "Wow, she is really cool. I could date her." The other is, "No way dude...you remember what happened last time." The latter is always the victor. The only way I can think of to fix this is to find the one that's not going to break my heart again. Possible? Probably not first try. I can go ahead and bet that I'll be back to the same place of distrust after the next girl I meet. And I actually realized recently that I'm starting to get old. Not like...old man, but I'm nearing 21. And I'm seeing a lot of people my age that I know getting married. I don't even have a girlfriend. And I only have like...2 girls that I'm friends with. Well...the ones I actually like. I still have plenty of time, I guess. But I hope in a year or two I look back at this and laugh at the doubtful idiot I once was.

I have enclosed a list for females that might be interested...

1. Must love God more than anything else
2. Must help my faith without condemning or judging me
3. Must like music
4. Good music...no country or rap
5. Must never force me to dance...except at the wedding
6. Must be patient
7. Very patient...I'm a very busy man
8. When I say I don't want to do something with you, i.e. go to one of your friends house, or go shopping, "because I just don't want to" is a reasonable excuse
9. Must thoroughly enjoy, not just tolerate, farts and poop jokes
10. Must never grow up and never expect me to

So there's probably one girl in the entire world who meets these requirements. Which is why I think I might give up. Unless she's reading my blog right now for some reason. And in that case, hit me up.