Inspire yourself

I've been thinking a lot about where I am in my life right now. No, I am not where I want to be. But I'm getting there. I was thinking about all of the leaps I've had to take. Some hard. Some easy. But ultimately, it will pay off. And I believe that. One thing that breaks my heart more than anything else is people that decide to settle. I'm not knocking on people with office jobs, or common lifestyles. Some people do it because they love it. I am talking about the people that quit their dreams and decide to settle for whatever they can get. They go into work every day completely miserable, then bring it home with them. I do understand the need for money. I can't talk seeing as how I deliver pizza. But the difference is I know this is not the end. It's what I do for money now, but it's not permanent. And I refuse to let it be. The following might sound like it was written through the eyes of someone that has made it and become successful at what they love, but it is not. It was written by someone who hasn't even caught a break yet. But is still determined on making it happen.

What did you want to be as a kid? A fireman? A professional athlete? I used to go out into my backyard and pretend I was Greg Maddux. I did the whole announcer and crowd thing too. We all wanted to be something, then changed our minds, for one reason or another. Sometimes it's deciding that it's not where you want to go in life. Sometimes it's someone telling you that you won't make it. The latter should never be a factor. Of course, dreams we had as children aren't the same once we grow up and make some discoveries of our own. But once you hit college, sometimes even late high school, our dreams should no longer be dreams. They should be goals. Because it's no longer a fantasy we live out in our backyard. It's something that can actually happen.

Too often, I see people abandon their hopes and dreams because they would rather play it safe. I see it in more things than a career path. It could be a girlfriend/boyfriend. The place you choose to live. These all tie in together into what you would call your life. What most people fail to realize, or push to the back of their mind, is that we only have one. We will not come back and be given another opportunity to do what we love. So why spend the one life that we have wishing you would have done something else? My greatest fear in life is that my deathbed regrets will be that I did not strive to live the life I wanted to live. Not regretting being unsuccessful. Not regretting failure. But regretting that I didn't try hard enough. I say this now, (and I hope I am correct in the future) but I would rather live my entire life having the goal of living my dream than settle and have no more goals. I don't want to get married and have kids at 23 years old. What goals can you make after that? Unless you have already met them. Again, I am not saying that isn't some people's chosen path. It works for some. Doesn't work for me. I feel like if I ran out of goals, (one major goal, really, with a lot of smaller ones) I would not have much point in living. Also, Deathbed Regrets sounds like it could be a good song name. Or a metal band name. I thought of it first.

Don't ever let someone tell you that it can't be done. People rarely make it because they got lucky. And I can guarantee you that almost everyone who is living out the dreams they envisioned were told by someone at some point that they wouldn't make it. I was told that I would never move away. Done. I was told that the band I'm in wouldn't last. Still going. I was told that my degree choice doesn't have a lot of job openings and the pay isn't great unless you get big. Don't care. I love it. It's what I do. It's who I am. I am not a computer science major. If I stayed with that, I might have a real job. But I would hate every day of it. I figured that out when I played Free Cell every day in C++ and made a 13 on my first Precal Trig exam. That was no typo. I made a 13 out of 100. Not because I couldn't learn it or I wasn't smart enough. It was just stupid to me. Not where I wanted to be.

So what do you do when you feel discouraged? Encourage yourself. Be your own inspiration. Set aside the fact that you can shove it in the faces of the "told you so's." You can be your own inspiration by simply reminding yourself that you haven't settled yet. You can remind yourself that you have goals. That you have hopes and dreams. And most likely, the people telling you that you can't do it are probably a little bit jealous that you still have fight in you. Think about where you would be if you decided to settle for something. Living in the city you grew up in. Hating your job. Not enjoying your relationship. How many times have you gone back to something you don't truly enjoy because it feels safe? Another suggestion. Read the stories of others. If you are a reader (you obviously are if you sift through my garbage here) I HIGHLY recommend A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius by Dave Eggers. I can easily say it is my favorite book. When you see what other people have overcome to get to where they are, you find a new perspective. Also it gives you hope. Sometimes we see don't see famous people as regular people. But they are. And they were. They were once where you are sitting right now. The worst thing you can possibly do is let other people tell you that you can't do something. Keep in mind...they are not you. The only reason they are telling you this is because they don't have (or never had) the guts to do anything like that themselves. Be your own inspiration. Whether you have someone supporting you or not. When it all comes down to it, you aren't doing it for them. You are doing it for you. Only you can tell you what you can do. So listen to yourself. I just typed you too many times. Enough times for me to question whether or not it is a real word. It can't possibly be spelled that way...

The road is rarely easy, but it doesn't have to be painful. And if you are someone who has settled in any way and want to do something about it...leave. Leave whatever you are doing. It's a lot easier than you would think. Get out. Go somewhere. Do something. Even though I haven't made it anywhere, I have gotten closer to my goals. And that feeling alone was worth taking a risk. So do it. Take a risk for once. Don't settle because it's comfortable if you don't like where you are. Leave. Inspire yourself.

update from the new house.

Whew. Sorry I haven't updated in a while. Moved to Nashville. So that's pretty cool. I'm working a lot. Trying to pay off student loans. So I haven't had much time to think about stuff. I do have some interesting things that will be coming soon. At least I think they are interesting. Trying to start reading again. I'm halfway finished with They Shall Know Our Velocity. Another Dave Eggers book and equally as impressive as A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius. Except fiction. That's about it. Just thought I would let you guys know I am still alive. And that I don't have much to say.