This makes them look so awful...hahahaha
31.10.09
30.10.09
Today is a sad day for music
I almost cried today. My morning twitter check revealed the following information from @copelandband.
-------------------------------------------
Dear friends,
We have come to an extremely difficult decision. It has come time for us to move on from Copeland and follow other paths in our lives. We are absolutely grateful to have been able to make music for as long as we have. In the last 9 years we've been able to see parts of the world that we never dreamt we would see. We have shared the stage and built friendships with immensely talented artists. We've been afforded the opportunity to make 4 records that we're extremely proud of. Most of all, we feel honored that people have cared so much for our band and for our art. We appreciate every listener who has allowed our music to be a part of their lives. We want to offer our deepest thanks to every individual who has supported us on this ride. It has profoundly impacted our lives.
To put your minds at ease, we assure you this is not a bitter break up. We all individually feel Copeland has run its course in our lives and it’s time for us to pursue what is next. We couldn’t end things without a proper goodbye, so we are planning a final farewell tour in the US this coming Spring, as well as one final jaunt around the world to some of our favorite countries. We are really excited about seeing you all one more time, and we hope it turns out to be the best Copeland tour ever.
It has been discussed and we are not ruling out the possibility of recording one more album sometime in the future. However, this spring tour will be our last.
From the bottom of hearts, thank you for all of your love and support.
Aaron, Bryan, Jon & Stephen
-------------------------------------------
It is a sad day indeed. Copeland has given me so much inspiration over the years. From the days of Beneath Medicine Tree, where I was made fun of for listening to music that was "too emo". Then to In Motion where everyone realized that Aaron Marsh's vocal abilities were more than incredible. Next we had Eat, Sleep, Repeat. This album, like all my other favorite albums, was my least favorite at first. Because it was different. But now it ranks in my top 10 all time. Even the B-side that came next, Dressed Up and In Line was amazing. How does a band make a B-sides album that is better than full length productions of most other bands? They did more than justice to The Police cover, and Thanks To You is one of my favorite songs. Finally, when I thought nothing better could come, I was surprised again by You Are My Sunshine. The lyrics to Chin Up are so good. There is a very high level of grace and passion in Aaron's voice. It cannot be matched by anyone.
So even though they are ending, and giving us time in advance to take it in, I am still somewhat distraught. I know that every band must break up sooner or later. And 9 years is a long time. I just hope that each member continues to follow their hearts with music. I hope they realize the true gifts they have and the inspirations that they are. I have no doubt that they will, and they do.
Even though I never met any of the members, I fell like I have. There's only 3 bands out there where I feel like I connect with every word. Copeland is one of them. I pray that they come near me so I can see them one last time. And I pray that they make one last album for me to add to my soundtrack of life.
In conclusion, I would like to thank each member. Even though the chances are slim anyone will read this. Thank you for being there when times were great. Thank you especially for being there when times were not so great. I cannot count how many rough patches of my life have been won over by your music. Thank you for inspiration. Thank you for giving me hope. Thank you for giving me peace. Thank you for beautiful music. And thank you for changing my life. Even though you won't be around much longer, you will always be a constant soundtrack in my life. Thanks for everything. Follow your heart. Follow your passions. Keep making music in some way shape or form. God has given you a gift that very few people have. God bless.
-------------------------------------------
Dear friends,
We have come to an extremely difficult decision. It has come time for us to move on from Copeland and follow other paths in our lives. We are absolutely grateful to have been able to make music for as long as we have. In the last 9 years we've been able to see parts of the world that we never dreamt we would see. We have shared the stage and built friendships with immensely talented artists. We've been afforded the opportunity to make 4 records that we're extremely proud of. Most of all, we feel honored that people have cared so much for our band and for our art. We appreciate every listener who has allowed our music to be a part of their lives. We want to offer our deepest thanks to every individual who has supported us on this ride. It has profoundly impacted our lives.
To put your minds at ease, we assure you this is not a bitter break up. We all individually feel Copeland has run its course in our lives and it’s time for us to pursue what is next. We couldn’t end things without a proper goodbye, so we are planning a final farewell tour in the US this coming Spring, as well as one final jaunt around the world to some of our favorite countries. We are really excited about seeing you all one more time, and we hope it turns out to be the best Copeland tour ever.
It has been discussed and we are not ruling out the possibility of recording one more album sometime in the future. However, this spring tour will be our last.
From the bottom of hearts, thank you for all of your love and support.
Aaron, Bryan, Jon & Stephen
-------------------------------------------
It is a sad day indeed. Copeland has given me so much inspiration over the years. From the days of Beneath Medicine Tree, where I was made fun of for listening to music that was "too emo". Then to In Motion where everyone realized that Aaron Marsh's vocal abilities were more than incredible. Next we had Eat, Sleep, Repeat. This album, like all my other favorite albums, was my least favorite at first. Because it was different. But now it ranks in my top 10 all time. Even the B-side that came next, Dressed Up and In Line was amazing. How does a band make a B-sides album that is better than full length productions of most other bands? They did more than justice to The Police cover, and Thanks To You is one of my favorite songs. Finally, when I thought nothing better could come, I was surprised again by You Are My Sunshine. The lyrics to Chin Up are so good. There is a very high level of grace and passion in Aaron's voice. It cannot be matched by anyone.
So even though they are ending, and giving us time in advance to take it in, I am still somewhat distraught. I know that every band must break up sooner or later. And 9 years is a long time. I just hope that each member continues to follow their hearts with music. I hope they realize the true gifts they have and the inspirations that they are. I have no doubt that they will, and they do.
Even though I never met any of the members, I fell like I have. There's only 3 bands out there where I feel like I connect with every word. Copeland is one of them. I pray that they come near me so I can see them one last time. And I pray that they make one last album for me to add to my soundtrack of life.
In conclusion, I would like to thank each member. Even though the chances are slim anyone will read this. Thank you for being there when times were great. Thank you especially for being there when times were not so great. I cannot count how many rough patches of my life have been won over by your music. Thank you for inspiration. Thank you for giving me hope. Thank you for giving me peace. Thank you for beautiful music. And thank you for changing my life. Even though you won't be around much longer, you will always be a constant soundtrack in my life. Thanks for everything. Follow your heart. Follow your passions. Keep making music in some way shape or form. God has given you a gift that very few people have. God bless.
29.10.09
Twitter/Facebook overstock
I had all these great things to post. Dumb stuff really. Nothing of value. Problem is, I ran out of mediums. So now I'm here. Let's see what comes to mind when I start typing (Warning - might be a complete waste of your time). Remember that song Peaches? By The Presidents of the United States of America? That song ruled. I had the cassette tape. On the B-Side was Candy Cigarette. Who remembers tapes? It wasn't until CDs came out that we realized how annoying it was to have to rewind and fast forward. In today's music, I would not have lasted. Hardly will I find an album that doesn't have a few skip songs. Unless it's Anberlin, Kindo, Motion City, The Format, or Copeland. What about mix tapes? Remember those? I used to listen to Rick Dee's weekly top 40 on WZYP every friday night. I made mixes of songs that included but were not limited to: Barenaked Ladies - One Week, The Offspring - Americana, Fastball - The Way, Radiohead - Karma Police, Blink-182 - What's My Age Again, Blessid Union of Souls - Hey Leonardo, and U2 - Sweetest thing. Funny how I still have all those songs on my iPod. And I still listen to them. This was also a time where MTV had something to do with music. Why not change the name? I'll come up with something more fitting...FPAUTV. Fortunate People Acting Unfortunate TV. My blog earlier about how annoying Jon and Kate are proved my point that people watch this and care more than seeing a music video. I miss the 90's. Not really though because now we have cell phones, Twitter, Pro Tools 8, Futurama, and video games that don't look like screen shots of paper. One thing I do miss is gas. I wasn't driving then. But I remember it being 79 cents a gallon. I would have been able to drive to Tuscaloosa and back for 8 dollars. Speaking of...why does my 17 year old car get better gas mileage than anything other than hybrids out today? Shouldn't they have fixed that by now. I mean, come on...it's been 17 years. Either the oil companies are paying big bucks behind the scenes, or the auto industry has just failed.
Anyway. That's my random rant. Sorry for wasting your time. Hey, let's try comments. If you grew up in the 90's (and I don't mean you were 8 in 1999) post your favorite/least favorite thing about it. Then tell me how that makes you feel. After I asses your comment, I expect a 2 page, double spaced, 12 point Times New Roman paper explaining why that made an impact on your life. 5 sources min. One has to be a book.
Anyway. That's my random rant. Sorry for wasting your time. Hey, let's try comments. If you grew up in the 90's (and I don't mean you were 8 in 1999) post your favorite/least favorite thing about it. Then tell me how that makes you feel. After I asses your comment, I expect a 2 page, double spaced, 12 point Times New Roman paper explaining why that made an impact on your life. 5 sources min. One has to be a book.
28.10.09
27.10.09
What I did today
Tracked drums. Wooo! I'm helping my friend Ben out with a project. Today, I recorded drums for a song. I decided to let everyone else in on the fun. Here are some pictures. I took them with my phone. And yes...I am wearing only underwear. Wanna fight about it?
Hello readers. it's time for another text update. This really doesn't have a point. i'm just trying to update more often to make myself feel important. i'm laying in bed. Iron and Wine is slowly dripping away all consciousness. I am currently in recovery mode. i'm trying to get my life back on track financially, mentally, and physically. It seems like it's been a long time since i've been able to breathe. Just sigh and know that everything is going to work out. i'm going to make rent. i'm going to get this paper done. i'm going to get my car fixed. I will get my hard drive data back. Does it ever stop though? i'm handling it, mind you. i'm not complaining. i'm just wondering...will it ever just stop? Even if only for a day. Maybe i'll renegotiate when i turn 68. But for now, i can't take the speed. Anyone catch the reference? 10 points if you did. If not, listen to the playlist on the right. it's in there. Anyway (there's no S at the end. Its not a word. Stop doing that, society) it's about time to go unconscious. The only time in my life when this train does stop. If you still don't get the theme...i'm not colorblind.
My new excuse for excessive tweeting and blogging is to get in some daily thumb exercises. QWERTY keypads get the job done.
Also, tomorrow is Tuesday and we all know what that means! Actually you probably don't. And neither do I. Stay tuned for when I find out. And by find out, I mean think of something
My new excuse for excessive tweeting and blogging is to get in some daily thumb exercises. QWERTY keypads get the job done.
Also, tomorrow is Tuesday and we all know what that means! Actually you probably don't. And neither do I. Stay tuned for when I find out. And by find out, I mean think of something
26.10.09
i was thinking the other day that i wish there was a way to post things more often. sometimes i feel like saying more than 140 characters while i am not at a computer. come to find out, Blogspot lets you use your phone. What does this mean? I'll probably update a lot more. Also, there will probably be a lot of dumb and useless posts. because that's how I roll. and since sometimes I'm too lazy to hit the shift button, which is an entire half centimeter away from the a key, things won't always be capitalized. oh...and i don't know how to put a subject. Oh well.
maybe soon, there will be a way to bypass phones and computers and go directly from brain to screen. that would be dangerous. i think a lot
maybe soon, there will be a way to bypass phones and computers and go directly from brain to screen. that would be dangerous. i think a lot
25.10.09
The Pursuit of Honestyness
I had somewhat of a revelation this weekend. And the revelation I had deals with dignity, honesty, and self love. The revelation was set off by one event, but the problems within myself date back to high school. It was kind of like a time bomb, that was hidden under years of dust and lies. This one gets a bit personal. I won't use names. Also, since some parts might sound a bit egotistical, I'll end this paragraph with a quote that I just made up. "I am awesome."
To preface my story, I will tell you why I fail at every relationship that I have ever attempted. It started with my first girlfriend, and pretty much my only real girlfriend. We started dating in high school, where the only drama that exists gets started for the fun of it. We generally stayed away from that and rarely fought or disagreed. When college started, the fighting got worse, and disagreements came all too often. No matter what happened or who was at fault, every one of them ended the same way. I apologized. Even if it wasn't my fault at the beginning, somewhere along the lines, I did something "wrong". This is a good place to intervene with myself and state that this entire blog post is not about who was wrong or who was right in any situation. It's about the aftermaths and how I reacted. Moving on. I was so content on keeping that relationship going, that I didn't care if it was my fault or hers. I just apologized. I specifically remember standing in my room, in a fight, 5 years ago, and the thought going through my mind while I'm getting screamed at is, "None of this is my fault. But if I pretend like it is and apologize anyway, she won't be mad anymore." Eventually, I couldn't handle it anymore. I got fed up with taking the blame for everything, and when I stopped...arguments never got settled. Things didn't work out.
I would like to think I learned from that. I did not. I started every relationship afterward doing the same thing. I'll admit I'm wrong and apologize. What I didn't realize at the time was the fact that I was lying to myself. It was almost like I was forcing myself to believe I was wrong just to keep a relationship going. This could be a good thing at times. With some people, you just have to back down. But when it comes to a relationship that I want to keep going, it has spiraled me downhill. Fast. In my most recent, which I will cover in the paragraph below, I decided I couldn't do it again. I had to stand up for what I believed in before I became attached in an attempt to prevent an incredibly messy ending a year down the road.
Sparing details...that happened again this weekend. But this time was different. The fuse was lit, and the bomb went off. It's just very unfortunate that the person who lit it, was someone that I really enjoy being with. I've been lying to myself for seven years. I just can't do it anymore. I have to be real. I have to know that I didn't do anything wrong. And I have to know that I am not to blame for anything. A long lost friend told me that I didn't have to deal with it. As simple as it sounds, and as many times as I've heard people say that, the effect was completely different. Instead of focusing on one person and saying "I don't have to deal with her," I heard it as, "I don't have to deal with these situations." Also, the phrase, "You're better than this," also came into play. It always seemed inevitable to me. Like I didn't have a choice. If I wanted friends, I had to sacrifice. But right then...on the steps outside of Tut's (I think I'll claim to be the only one to have a real life changing moment on the strip in Tuscaloosa at 3AM)...the revelation came. A relationship is all about sacrifice. Anyone who has been in one knows that. If I don't like a movie, I'll watch it with her if she wants to. If she wants to go to a ballet, I'll go with her. If she wants me to stay home with her instead of hang out with friends for a night, I could even do that. What I realized that I cannot continue to do, is sacrifice my beliefs. I cannot spend the rest of my life with someone, no matter how great they might be, and go to sleep at night knowing that I am lying to myself. And also...I AM better than that. I like to think of myself as a caring person. I can name 30 people that I would gladly take a bullet for. Right now. I think of other people before me in almost any situation. But sometimes, I feel like I'm being seen as a bad guy that doesn't care and mistreats people. If I was doing something along those lines, I would feel awful about it, and apologize. For seven years, even if I had no blame, I felt awful and apologized. Just because I thought that was the only way to make something work. I made myself believe that I wronged someone else. It finally got so ridiculous, that I snapped. I'm done being the bad guy when I deserve better.
So right now. At this point. I don't care anymore. If a relationship fails, it fails. But in the end, I have my dignity. I have to learn to love myself before I can love others. If I'm with someone that can't grasp what I'm saying, it's not worth it. If someone comes along that does, it will be that much better. A relationship is all about trust. If I'm lying to myself, how can I trust what I'm doing is right? How can I trust anything she's doing? One of the most important things to me is honesty. Without that, there is no relationship. Anyone who knows me on a personal level knows that I try as hard as I can not to lie. If you want an answer, I'll give it to you. I don't cut corners. I don't try and get around a point. If you did something to offend me, I will tell you. If I did something that offends you, I'll tell you and take responsibility. I don't like miscommunication. What, spell check? Not a word? I'm pretty sure it is. Continuing...miscommunication and ignorance come from dishonesty. If the truth isn't out there, opinions form into our own self made truths. I can't sit back and let an opinion become actuality because I'm to scared to put a relationship on the line. That's what I did. I stood up for myself. If she never talks to me again, it might suck for a while. But knowing that I did the right thing for myself cancels all of that out. I don't know how. It just does. For the record, I'm hoping she does talk to me. I'm hoping she realizes where I'm coming from. But whether she decides to accept it or not, I have no control. I'm not looking to lose a friend, or make someone feel like a horrible person. I'm looking for understanding.
I will end with a list of things I learned this weekend.
-I am truly happy when I don't sacrifice my beliefs in order to artificially create happiness
-I love the person I turned out to be so far
-I need to get my own life straight before I share it with others
-City Cafe is cheap. But they get you with the drink
-Being happy with myself has given me hope
-I have a lot more to learn about myself
-I find peace when I stop hating myself
-Real friends tell you the truth, painful or pleasant
-Artificial friends tell you either what you want to hear, or what they want you to believe
-Terrance Cody is a beast
-That void that I constantly have...the hole in my life...that one thing keeping me from peace...can be filled by the way I react to what the world brings to the table. It can be filled by being reminded that I can choose to be happy or not. I can decide if I want to let something bring me down or not. And most importantly...it can be filled by knowing that I am being true to myself
To preface my story, I will tell you why I fail at every relationship that I have ever attempted. It started with my first girlfriend, and pretty much my only real girlfriend. We started dating in high school, where the only drama that exists gets started for the fun of it. We generally stayed away from that and rarely fought or disagreed. When college started, the fighting got worse, and disagreements came all too often. No matter what happened or who was at fault, every one of them ended the same way. I apologized. Even if it wasn't my fault at the beginning, somewhere along the lines, I did something "wrong". This is a good place to intervene with myself and state that this entire blog post is not about who was wrong or who was right in any situation. It's about the aftermaths and how I reacted. Moving on. I was so content on keeping that relationship going, that I didn't care if it was my fault or hers. I just apologized. I specifically remember standing in my room, in a fight, 5 years ago, and the thought going through my mind while I'm getting screamed at is, "None of this is my fault. But if I pretend like it is and apologize anyway, she won't be mad anymore." Eventually, I couldn't handle it anymore. I got fed up with taking the blame for everything, and when I stopped...arguments never got settled. Things didn't work out.
I would like to think I learned from that. I did not. I started every relationship afterward doing the same thing. I'll admit I'm wrong and apologize. What I didn't realize at the time was the fact that I was lying to myself. It was almost like I was forcing myself to believe I was wrong just to keep a relationship going. This could be a good thing at times. With some people, you just have to back down. But when it comes to a relationship that I want to keep going, it has spiraled me downhill. Fast. In my most recent, which I will cover in the paragraph below, I decided I couldn't do it again. I had to stand up for what I believed in before I became attached in an attempt to prevent an incredibly messy ending a year down the road.
Sparing details...that happened again this weekend. But this time was different. The fuse was lit, and the bomb went off. It's just very unfortunate that the person who lit it, was someone that I really enjoy being with. I've been lying to myself for seven years. I just can't do it anymore. I have to be real. I have to know that I didn't do anything wrong. And I have to know that I am not to blame for anything. A long lost friend told me that I didn't have to deal with it. As simple as it sounds, and as many times as I've heard people say that, the effect was completely different. Instead of focusing on one person and saying "I don't have to deal with her," I heard it as, "I don't have to deal with these situations." Also, the phrase, "You're better than this," also came into play. It always seemed inevitable to me. Like I didn't have a choice. If I wanted friends, I had to sacrifice. But right then...on the steps outside of Tut's (I think I'll claim to be the only one to have a real life changing moment on the strip in Tuscaloosa at 3AM)...the revelation came. A relationship is all about sacrifice. Anyone who has been in one knows that. If I don't like a movie, I'll watch it with her if she wants to. If she wants to go to a ballet, I'll go with her. If she wants me to stay home with her instead of hang out with friends for a night, I could even do that. What I realized that I cannot continue to do, is sacrifice my beliefs. I cannot spend the rest of my life with someone, no matter how great they might be, and go to sleep at night knowing that I am lying to myself. And also...I AM better than that. I like to think of myself as a caring person. I can name 30 people that I would gladly take a bullet for. Right now. I think of other people before me in almost any situation. But sometimes, I feel like I'm being seen as a bad guy that doesn't care and mistreats people. If I was doing something along those lines, I would feel awful about it, and apologize. For seven years, even if I had no blame, I felt awful and apologized. Just because I thought that was the only way to make something work. I made myself believe that I wronged someone else. It finally got so ridiculous, that I snapped. I'm done being the bad guy when I deserve better.
So right now. At this point. I don't care anymore. If a relationship fails, it fails. But in the end, I have my dignity. I have to learn to love myself before I can love others. If I'm with someone that can't grasp what I'm saying, it's not worth it. If someone comes along that does, it will be that much better. A relationship is all about trust. If I'm lying to myself, how can I trust what I'm doing is right? How can I trust anything she's doing? One of the most important things to me is honesty. Without that, there is no relationship. Anyone who knows me on a personal level knows that I try as hard as I can not to lie. If you want an answer, I'll give it to you. I don't cut corners. I don't try and get around a point. If you did something to offend me, I will tell you. If I did something that offends you, I'll tell you and take responsibility. I don't like miscommunication. What, spell check? Not a word? I'm pretty sure it is. Continuing...miscommunication and ignorance come from dishonesty. If the truth isn't out there, opinions form into our own self made truths. I can't sit back and let an opinion become actuality because I'm to scared to put a relationship on the line. That's what I did. I stood up for myself. If she never talks to me again, it might suck for a while. But knowing that I did the right thing for myself cancels all of that out. I don't know how. It just does. For the record, I'm hoping she does talk to me. I'm hoping she realizes where I'm coming from. But whether she decides to accept it or not, I have no control. I'm not looking to lose a friend, or make someone feel like a horrible person. I'm looking for understanding.
I will end with a list of things I learned this weekend.
-I am truly happy when I don't sacrifice my beliefs in order to artificially create happiness
-I love the person I turned out to be so far
-I need to get my own life straight before I share it with others
-City Cafe is cheap. But they get you with the drink
-Being happy with myself has given me hope
-I have a lot more to learn about myself
-I find peace when I stop hating myself
-Real friends tell you the truth, painful or pleasant
-Artificial friends tell you either what you want to hear, or what they want you to believe
-Terrance Cody is a beast
-That void that I constantly have...the hole in my life...that one thing keeping me from peace...can be filled by the way I react to what the world brings to the table. It can be filled by being reminded that I can choose to be happy or not. I can decide if I want to let something bring me down or not. And most importantly...it can be filled by knowing that I am being true to myself
11.10.09
Asthenia
The word asthenia is a word that describes a loss of strength or will. It's also a Blink-182 song. And probably my favorite lyrically. I was listening to the song and thinking about it. Putting myself in the situation. Wondering what I would do.
Basically, the song is about a man up in space, in a vessel the size of a car. Everything is peaceful. No problems. No war. No drama. Just a man by himself, with the brilliance of space to look at. The conflict arises when the man contemplates returning to earth, which is such a negative place compared to the solitude and serenity of space.
I thought about how I would feel if I were in that situation. I'm here on earth now, amidst all these problems. War, starvation, slavery, reality tv shows, disease, poverty, and drama that was supposed to end in high school. Not that there aren't wonderful things about the world I live in. Most of the time, I'm content with where I am and where my life is going. But not a day goes by that I can ignore what's going on around me. As much as I try to stay away, it catches up to me. Every once in a while, I find myself in a state of infidelity, where I lose all faith. There are too many negatives to find anything positive sometimes.
What if there was an escape? What if I was that guy in space? Would I come back? Tom wrote, "This room is bored of rehearsal, I'm sick of the boundaries, I miss you so much." Briefly stated, it would be really boring. I would miss a lot of people. No matter how beautiful the universe was, would it be enough to hold me over until I die? I would be completely free of all of the burdens this world casts on me. I could wake up every day and not have to worry about anything. Anything. The economy is bad. I don't care. I'm in space. Actually, I wouldn't even know the economy was bad. I would be ignorant to everything happening. Oh, Jan and Dean are in a fight because he looked at her weird? Yea...I'm in space. My concern is focused on other things. In Ecclesiastes, Solomon wrote, "For in much wisdom is much grief, and he who increases knowledge increases sorrow." If you don't know about something, you can't grieve. I would be at peace from everything.
The greater question that I asked myself went a little bit like this. "Hey Matt...do the very few times in your life in which you are happy outweigh all of the misfortunes?" I answered myself with, "Yes. Yes they do." I will elaborate on this even more with my soon to be posted entry about the book of Ecclesiastes. But I think my main problem is that the bad outweighs the good because I let it. Sure, there might be more of the bad. There might not be much good at times. But it's all relative. It's all what you make of it. You could end every single night in sadness because of something that you couldn't let go. This one thing that just ruined your day. But what does that accomplish? What does grieving over something irrelevant give back to you? Not much. Maybe a feeling of contentment. But not happiness. On the other hand, what does grabbing on to that one good thing accomplish? That will give you happiness. You can use that as hope, and use that to get you through the negative. The human mind is a powerful thing. Use it to your advantage, or be taken over.
Who knew I would get deep with Blink-182 lyrics?
Basically, the song is about a man up in space, in a vessel the size of a car. Everything is peaceful. No problems. No war. No drama. Just a man by himself, with the brilliance of space to look at. The conflict arises when the man contemplates returning to earth, which is such a negative place compared to the solitude and serenity of space.
I thought about how I would feel if I were in that situation. I'm here on earth now, amidst all these problems. War, starvation, slavery, reality tv shows, disease, poverty, and drama that was supposed to end in high school. Not that there aren't wonderful things about the world I live in. Most of the time, I'm content with where I am and where my life is going. But not a day goes by that I can ignore what's going on around me. As much as I try to stay away, it catches up to me. Every once in a while, I find myself in a state of infidelity, where I lose all faith. There are too many negatives to find anything positive sometimes.
What if there was an escape? What if I was that guy in space? Would I come back? Tom wrote, "This room is bored of rehearsal, I'm sick of the boundaries, I miss you so much." Briefly stated, it would be really boring. I would miss a lot of people. No matter how beautiful the universe was, would it be enough to hold me over until I die? I would be completely free of all of the burdens this world casts on me. I could wake up every day and not have to worry about anything. Anything. The economy is bad. I don't care. I'm in space. Actually, I wouldn't even know the economy was bad. I would be ignorant to everything happening. Oh, Jan and Dean are in a fight because he looked at her weird? Yea...I'm in space. My concern is focused on other things. In Ecclesiastes, Solomon wrote, "For in much wisdom is much grief, and he who increases knowledge increases sorrow." If you don't know about something, you can't grieve. I would be at peace from everything.
The greater question that I asked myself went a little bit like this. "Hey Matt...do the very few times in your life in which you are happy outweigh all of the misfortunes?" I answered myself with, "Yes. Yes they do." I will elaborate on this even more with my soon to be posted entry about the book of Ecclesiastes. But I think my main problem is that the bad outweighs the good because I let it. Sure, there might be more of the bad. There might not be much good at times. But it's all relative. It's all what you make of it. You could end every single night in sadness because of something that you couldn't let go. This one thing that just ruined your day. But what does that accomplish? What does grieving over something irrelevant give back to you? Not much. Maybe a feeling of contentment. But not happiness. On the other hand, what does grabbing on to that one good thing accomplish? That will give you happiness. You can use that as hope, and use that to get you through the negative. The human mind is a powerful thing. Use it to your advantage, or be taken over.
Who knew I would get deep with Blink-182 lyrics?
9.10.09
Too tired to update
I started an update. I got tired. Like anyone is going to read it at 230 in the morning anyway. I saved it in notepad so I wouldn't forget it. Check back tomorrow. Or whenever I remember. I am still alive. Just letting you know. This was kind of pointless. Sorry for wasting your time.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
