Not moving is the goal of every day

I figured out the difference between men and women today. This might be one of my greatest revolutions to this day. Before I start, I will include a disclaimer so I don't get yelled at and hated. The following is merely meant for humor and entertainment and has no intentions of demeaning the female gender. It is all based on stereotypes and things that aren't always true. Now, with that being said, I give you a key difference between the two genders.

I was second-handedly asked the question, "What's so great about football?" today. I thought about a legitimate and philosophical answer, but came to a conclusion almost immediately. Watching football is great because it allows us to be competitive without actually having to do anything. We can actually sit in a recliner, drink a beer, and eat cheese dip, and still be competing with one another. Which brings me to my main point about guys. Guys will do whatever involves the least amount of moving with the most amount of payoff. Human beings always strive to compete with one another. I think I actually wrote about that a year or so ago. But we always want to one up the next person or get that feeling of satisfaction. And while the outcome of a football game has no true effect on the outcome of our lives, it is where men get their competitive fix.

With women it's different. Women get their competitive high from each other. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I've heard plenty of girls tell me that they don't dress up to impress other guys, but they do it to better another girl. It's not even trying to compete for a guy, it's about trying to be the best looking girl at the club. Now I'm not a girl...obviously. Maybe not obviously, but take my word for it. So I don't know if this is true, but it seems like it sometimes. There is a whole new world of drama that exists between girls that guys don't even know about. And it always stems from competition. Why do guys have less drama in their lives than girls? Too much effort. It's much easier to just say it's cool and remaining motionless on the couch.

This common goal for competition is what makes guys and girls different. This is why guys don't dress up for an 8am final on a Monday morning, but some girls will come in full makeup, hair curled, and heels. Guys are too lazy for that. And the ends don't justify the means. We don't get our satisfaction from being the best looking guy in a classroom. Because that's just way to much work. That's why we turn to football. You combine all of our favorite things...not moving, drinking beer, eating, and watching TV. All you have to do is put on a football game, and there's our competition. This is why men are drawn to sports. And women are drawn to drama and competing with each other because that's what TV shows tell them to do in order to be competitive. Also, it's how we're made. A girl will never be able to tell a guy why she feels the need to wake up at 6:30am so they look good for a class full of dudes that don't care. At least he won't understand it. Because of our lazy nature. But she knows.

To put it simply, guys are lazy. And girls work harder to compete because they're not. Happy New Year.