I will die with more shoes than you.

Since I haven't blogged in a while, prepare for a long one. Go ahead. Empty your bladder. Grab some popcorn. Look away from the screen every once in a while. Truth is, I've been sitting in a hospital chair from 12am-8am for the past three nights. I'm kind of bored. So I'm going to type. And it's going to get weird. And fun. After reading this, you'll either think I'm awesome or an idiot. Or both. Here's where I mix interesting with ridiculous.

I envy the people that can pack everything they own into a van and take off. I have too much stuff. I hate that we are in love with stuff. Useless stuff. I'm at the hospital right now with my grandma and she is watching a show called "Can I Afford It?" The show involves people calling in asking whether or not they can afford stuff. They'll give what they want, how much they make, how much debt they have, and so on. Some of this stuff is pretty dumb. It amazes me how this stuff can make us feel so fulfilled. Trust me, I am no better than all of these people calling in for things like flat screen TVs, beach houses in California, and new carpet just for the fun of it. But then there's another part of the show in which the host gives people plans for how to save the most amount of money. At one point she said, "By the time you turn 75, you should have over 1 million dollars."

A show about how to get more stuff. Great. My first question, the obvious question, is what if you don't make it to 75? Or even better, what if you die a week after you turn 75? Would it all have been worth it? All of that saving, all of that straining, all of that stress.

I think one of the greatest challenges in life is to separate what matters and what does not. Even more challenging, doing something about it. I listen to this woman tell people if they can afford things or not, but think to myself...maybe you can afford it, but do you need it? Of course, no. You never do. When you think about it, you don't need almost everything you have. Sure, it's nice. And no, I'm not saying you should live on one pair of clothes inside a box somewhere. Unless you want to. My point is that our knowledge of want and need is a little skewed. Material things are so funny, really. And I think everyone can agree with me on the next statement. After you finally get that new thing that you have to have...don't you realize in about a month that it didn't really matter that much?

Seriously girls...what's with the shoes? I have about 5 pairs and that is too many.

There is an interesting paradox about stuff. If the stuff never existed, I don't think we would be that upset. Quite the opposite, actually. I believe that people in the Old Testament were way more content with their lives than our culture today. Mostly because the amount of stuff was not as great. The more stuff that exists in this world...the more billboards telling us what we need...the more television shows with people more successful than us...the worse we feel about our own lives. Consciously or subconsciously. I think the invention of stuff has created a dependence on it, and in turn, shifted our priorities to the stuff rather than the things we should be really focusing on. I cannot fathom not having internet. I lived through it for a few years. But I was young. Imagine never having internet. Much less computers. Much less television. Much less electricity. Sounds terrible, right? But what if you didn't even know what it was? Wouldn't be hurting as much.

Imagine a new invention that allowed any civilian to travel into space whenever he/she desired. We will call it the Pukeatron Space Vessel. How incredible would that be? With this, someone could orbit the earth in a matter of seconds, making planes obsolete and drastically cutting travel time. The idea of it sounds ridiculous and almost impossible, but bear with me. Now imagine that becoming mainstream. You go $439,345 in debt to buy one. You're so cool. Your neighbors are so jealous. Soon, the price goes down and everyone has one. It's huge. The new thing. Yours breaks, and you are now poor. What do you do when you want to go from New York to California? You drive or take a plane. No three second trip. What a huge inconvenience that would be. Imagine...your friend gets there and has three more days of vacation while you drive a car. You are crushed. Now your neighbors are laughing at you. You won't rest until you get it fixed. But you run out of money because your job is 3 hours away...which used to be 3 seconds away. You don't have a functioning Pukeatron Space Vessel and your friends are already upgrading to the Pukeatron Space Vessel 2.0 that comes stock with puke bags, wifi, and a 1020p hi def player that zaps the movie into your brain since the three second travel time is not adequate enough to watch a film. Man, you are a loser.

Ok. Leave my overly descriptive fantasy for a second. Now think about this. We don't have that now. So if we want to go from New York to California we take a plane. And that's the best way to go. We don't feel bad because we don't have the Pukeatron. We don't want it. It doesn't control us. It doesn't make us feel inferior. We get on a plane, and don't think about it. Now is the whole point in that little story above. Imagine not having any of the things we have now...but not knowing they could even possibly exist. I, for one, know for a fact that I would be a lot happier. Extreme example I know. But think about it.

I don't think any human being, no matter how rich, could cross the stuff threshold. If someone has already come up with this, then I apologize for unknowingly stealing it. Otherwise this is an original definition. "The stuff threshold" is an intangible point in which the happiness that comes from the stuff you own outweighs the desire and want for more stuff. I think we have been taught that stuff = success and success = happiness. Therefore more stuff = more happiness.

Personally, my goal is to learn how to channel this want into something useful. Then I have to ask myself what is useful? I'm still searching for that one. Maybe it will come later. But I definitely don't want to be that guy trying to die with more stuff than the other.