For those of you who don't know, there has been a recent catastrophe in my life. Lightning struck close to my house and killed the internet. I won't get it back until Monday at the earliest. I should probably work on my internet dependency. It's getting a bit out of hand. Onto the main point. Since I have been slacking recently, I've decided to post somewhat of a mini-series. The subject? What I learned in college. The out of the classroom things. Basically, a memoir-ish story that documents my fights with girls, myself, God, and the devil.
Why do this? Quite frankly, I'm bored and out of ideas. But also, I want the people that read this to get a better understanding of who I am, where I came from, and where I'm at now. Personally, I love hearing other people's stories. I am always fascinated at how they are all so different, yet all the same. So I've decided to tell mine. Some of the things in the upcoming posts will be new to almost everyone. Some of them might make you think I'm a terrible person. Maybe one person will be able to relate. Maybe one person will figure something out about themselves. I just thought about how I'm posting all of these blogs about how we should live our lives when I clearly haven't even figured out how to live my own. Also, I want to remember all of this. And since my computer is really good at crashing, I want it on here. Also...I'm doing it because I feel like it. So there.
The main problem lies with me not having internet. So my temporary replacement is the Starbucks down the street. I am currently "that guy" that everyone makes fun of. The guy blogging on his Mac, listening to his iPod, and checking Twitter, while drinking copious amounts of Pike Place. At least I have an excuse. But I still look like a tool. At least I'm not the guy with the Kindle. I've already typed out three of them, but don't want to post them all at once. They're pretty lengthy, so you might need a few breaks. I planned on having 5, but there might be more.
So stay tuned. I promise it will be interesting at the least. There isn't one person in the world who knows everything that you will see. Some of it, I even forgot. Big gulps, huh? Welp...see ya later!
31.7.10
21.7.10
Fold the pages
I've been thinking a lot about how I want my story to turn out. Partly because Donald Miller is having a contest to come see a seminar in Portland. Where I've always wanted to go. But I'm too poor to register and do all of that and I don't want to take up the space of people that have the money. Regardless, I think I'll write about it. If you haven't caught it from previous posts or read A Million Miles in a Thousand Years, Donald uses a story as a metaphor for life. Basically...what would your life be if it were a story? And if you could write it the way you wanted, what would you write? The truth is, we are all constantly writing our own stories. We ultimately choose what happens to us and what actions we will take when things come our way. This provoked some thought in me, especially when I see others just letting their life happen. When their story is over, people would read it and say, "Wow...that was incredible boring" or "I don't see the point." I don't want that to be mine.
I see people all the time on twitter, facebook, blogs, or in person, that will say, "I've closed blah blah chapter in my life." Some of them say it as though they will never look back. Like once they move on, they're done with that part of their life. When I think about that, I just think of how sad it is. That we're in such a hurry to get to the next step, we just move on to a new chapter. When I read a book, I fold the pages. Or dog-ear them, if you will. I would need way too many bookmarks. I highlight things. I write them down. Not all of it is good. I highlight tragedy. I highlight mistakes. I highlight the low points. I also highlight the good parts. The happy, the funny, the uplifting. Because all of it is relevant to the story. I think that's how we need to approach life. There's always a time to move on, but never a time where we should stop looking back. Not looking back in a sense of longing, but a sense of learning. If your goal is just to make it to the next chapter, you will die with no sense of satisfaction. If the end of the book is death, when will you sit back and ponder? When will you enjoy it? Whenever I read a book, I like to think about it. I question things, I question myself, I wonder what the author was thinking. Enjoy your life as it's happening. Go back to those folded pages and highlights to see what you've written so far.
The person you will learn from the most is yourself. Remember your first job? Remember how many things you screwed up regardless of how much they trained you? It's a given that we, as humans, will constantly make mistakes. That's why they have erasers and the delete key. Throughout college, I saw so many people make the same mistakes over and over again. Especially with relationships. They would close the chapter on one, then move on to the next. The problem was, the next one would be the same. Since they already closed that chapter in their life, they didn't think that they were putting themselves through the exact same situation. They didn't have a folded page to turn back to.
Why do we need the sad parts of the story? Why can't we forget those? I think those times are what makes us stronger people. Being able to look back and know that you made it through something tough can really boost you when things aren't so great. Spoiler alert to every story: Something, sometime, somewhere, is going to suck. Maybe worse than something else that's already happened. That is a part of every story. But you make it through. And when you do make it through, you fold the page. You highlight the things that got you through. And next time something else happens, you go back. You figure out how you handled it before. This time, you add more things to highlight. This is not a way of numbing out pain. This is a way of coping with it. The conflict and loss in life is what builds your character. It's what makes you the person that you are.
I want my story to be a best seller. I actually want 10 best sellers. I want a story so big I need a new bookshelf. But every page can't be: Today I woke up. I checked Twitter. Then I checked Facebook. No new wall posts. Time to go watch tv. I want to write something exciting. I want love and loss. I want tragedy and redemption. I want impulse. I want desire. I want everything that makes a story great. But I don't want to live from chapter to chapter. Just trying to make it through to the end. That shortens the life of the book. When you're done, you're done. I want to constantly go back and read what's already written. I want to love every second of it over and over again. I want every page to be folded.
I see people all the time on twitter, facebook, blogs, or in person, that will say, "I've closed blah blah chapter in my life." Some of them say it as though they will never look back. Like once they move on, they're done with that part of their life. When I think about that, I just think of how sad it is. That we're in such a hurry to get to the next step, we just move on to a new chapter. When I read a book, I fold the pages. Or dog-ear them, if you will. I would need way too many bookmarks. I highlight things. I write them down. Not all of it is good. I highlight tragedy. I highlight mistakes. I highlight the low points. I also highlight the good parts. The happy, the funny, the uplifting. Because all of it is relevant to the story. I think that's how we need to approach life. There's always a time to move on, but never a time where we should stop looking back. Not looking back in a sense of longing, but a sense of learning. If your goal is just to make it to the next chapter, you will die with no sense of satisfaction. If the end of the book is death, when will you sit back and ponder? When will you enjoy it? Whenever I read a book, I like to think about it. I question things, I question myself, I wonder what the author was thinking. Enjoy your life as it's happening. Go back to those folded pages and highlights to see what you've written so far.
The person you will learn from the most is yourself. Remember your first job? Remember how many things you screwed up regardless of how much they trained you? It's a given that we, as humans, will constantly make mistakes. That's why they have erasers and the delete key. Throughout college, I saw so many people make the same mistakes over and over again. Especially with relationships. They would close the chapter on one, then move on to the next. The problem was, the next one would be the same. Since they already closed that chapter in their life, they didn't think that they were putting themselves through the exact same situation. They didn't have a folded page to turn back to.
Why do we need the sad parts of the story? Why can't we forget those? I think those times are what makes us stronger people. Being able to look back and know that you made it through something tough can really boost you when things aren't so great. Spoiler alert to every story: Something, sometime, somewhere, is going to suck. Maybe worse than something else that's already happened. That is a part of every story. But you make it through. And when you do make it through, you fold the page. You highlight the things that got you through. And next time something else happens, you go back. You figure out how you handled it before. This time, you add more things to highlight. This is not a way of numbing out pain. This is a way of coping with it. The conflict and loss in life is what builds your character. It's what makes you the person that you are.
I want my story to be a best seller. I actually want 10 best sellers. I want a story so big I need a new bookshelf. But every page can't be: Today I woke up. I checked Twitter. Then I checked Facebook. No new wall posts. Time to go watch tv. I want to write something exciting. I want love and loss. I want tragedy and redemption. I want impulse. I want desire. I want everything that makes a story great. But I don't want to live from chapter to chapter. Just trying to make it through to the end. That shortens the life of the book. When you're done, you're done. I want to constantly go back and read what's already written. I want to love every second of it over and over again. I want every page to be folded.
5.7.10
Dark is the way, light is a place
Google needs to get in the game. Make an app, or make an iPhone/iPod friendly blog. I would blog a lot more. Anyway...done with that rant. Now onto my self rant. If you're like me, you have an internal list of things you need to do, stop doing, or start doing. I realized today that some of these things have been on this so called list for 5 years. Every night I go to sleep telling myself , "soon. I'll do it soon." Then I wake up and forget all about it. How do I make this soon become now? The thing that bugs me the most is the fact that I know life would be much more enjoyable if I listened to myself.
For starters, I've been wanting to start running every morning as the sun comes up. A few reasons: I would be more in shape since I run twice a week...if I feel like it. I would get to experience beautiful sunsets that never get old. I could transfer the time I can't sleep at night into something productive in the daytime. And I would be able to sleep at night when I want to. Truth is, I just really enjoy sleeping. Also, can't stand it. I hate the fact that, other than letting my body rest...I cannot do anything productive. I'm just in a simplified coma. On the other hand, once I'm asleep, I never want to wake up because it feels incredible.
This is a minor example of a plethora of spiritual and personal things I would like to start doing. But when is soon? Will soon be 70 when it's too late? Will I even make it that far? Also, what is really important here? Now i have "vanity of vanities, all is vanity" stuck in my head. With that, I realize there is a bigger picture than what I'm seeing. And I really think that almost every blog I've posted, including this one, has involved too much thinking and too much intellect. Could life be more simple than a constant array of lists we all must finish before we die? I believe so. After all, God didn't put us here stocked with checklists. Maybe, just maybe...stay with me now. All of this searching for answers and truth is not what was intended. It's not like I'm going to find the answer on earth anyway. Maybe these lists and searches and drastic thinkings are the things that hinder us from our purpose the most. Maybe...the things we seek out are the things that keep us at a standstill.
Yes. I know. I've contradicted myself about every other sentence of every blog. This one included. But I think I'm finally starting to figure it out. And by it, I mean my life. Your walk might be different. Correction. Probably is different. I hope the first thing I hear in heaven is, "welcome to the simple life" and not followed by, "that you could have had on earth."
For starters, I've been wanting to start running every morning as the sun comes up. A few reasons: I would be more in shape since I run twice a week...if I feel like it. I would get to experience beautiful sunsets that never get old. I could transfer the time I can't sleep at night into something productive in the daytime. And I would be able to sleep at night when I want to. Truth is, I just really enjoy sleeping. Also, can't stand it. I hate the fact that, other than letting my body rest...I cannot do anything productive. I'm just in a simplified coma. On the other hand, once I'm asleep, I never want to wake up because it feels incredible.
This is a minor example of a plethora of spiritual and personal things I would like to start doing. But when is soon? Will soon be 70 when it's too late? Will I even make it that far? Also, what is really important here? Now i have "vanity of vanities, all is vanity" stuck in my head. With that, I realize there is a bigger picture than what I'm seeing. And I really think that almost every blog I've posted, including this one, has involved too much thinking and too much intellect. Could life be more simple than a constant array of lists we all must finish before we die? I believe so. After all, God didn't put us here stocked with checklists. Maybe, just maybe...stay with me now. All of this searching for answers and truth is not what was intended. It's not like I'm going to find the answer on earth anyway. Maybe these lists and searches and drastic thinkings are the things that hinder us from our purpose the most. Maybe...the things we seek out are the things that keep us at a standstill.
Yes. I know. I've contradicted myself about every other sentence of every blog. This one included. But I think I'm finally starting to figure it out. And by it, I mean my life. Your walk might be different. Correction. Probably is different. I hope the first thing I hear in heaven is, "welcome to the simple life" and not followed by, "that you could have had on earth."
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
