Dark is the way, light is a place

Google needs to get in the game. Make an app, or make an iPhone/iPod friendly blog. I would blog a lot more. Anyway...done with that rant. Now onto my self rant. If you're like me, you have an internal list of things you need to do, stop doing, or start doing. I realized today that some of these things have been on this so called list for 5 years. Every night I go to sleep telling myself , "soon. I'll do it soon." Then I wake up and forget all about it. How do I make this soon become now? The thing that bugs me the most is the fact that I know life would be much more enjoyable if I listened to myself.

For starters, I've been wanting to start running every morning as the sun comes up. A few reasons: I would be more in shape since I run twice a week...if I feel like it. I would get to experience beautiful sunsets that never get old. I could transfer the time I can't sleep at night into something productive in the daytime. And I would be able to sleep at night when I want to. Truth is, I just really enjoy sleeping. Also, can't stand it. I hate the fact that, other than letting my body rest...I cannot do anything productive. I'm just in a simplified coma. On the other hand, once I'm asleep, I never want to wake up because it feels incredible.

This is a minor example of a plethora of spiritual and personal things I would like to start doing. But when is soon? Will soon be 70 when it's too late? Will I even make it that far? Also, what is really important here? Now i have "vanity of vanities, all is vanity" stuck in my head. With that, I realize there is a bigger picture than what I'm seeing. And I really think that almost every blog I've posted, including this one, has involved too much thinking and too much intellect. Could life be more simple than a constant array of lists we all must finish before we die? I believe so. After all, God didn't put us here stocked with checklists. Maybe, just maybe...stay with me now. All of this searching for answers and truth is not what was intended. It's not like I'm going to find the answer on earth anyway. Maybe these lists and searches and drastic thinkings are the things that hinder us from our purpose the most. Maybe...the things we seek out are the things that keep us at a standstill.

Yes. I know. I've contradicted myself about every other sentence of every blog. This one included. But I think I'm finally starting to figure it out. And by it, I mean my life. Your walk might be different. Correction. Probably is different. I hope the first thing I hear in heaven is, "welcome to the simple life" and not followed by, "that you could have had on earth."