8.2.12

Solitude is bliss

I have one question. For myself, but also for the simple purpose of setting the tone for the rest of this post because I couldn't think of a better introduction. Here is that question. Why do I enjoy solitude?

I live with my three best friends. I love them all. They are very dear to me. But I realized today that, other than being in my car, bathroom, or asleep, I'm constantly surrounded by somebody. When I was in college I would go entire days without seeing a single human being. For some reason, I thrived off of that. Is this a bad thing? Sounds like it should be. We are meant to interact and mingle. Share our thoughts. I enjoy being by myself.

That being said, I once spent 5 days in total solitude while housesitting for my aunt and uncle. They had a bunch of stuff in the house. A grand piano, guitars, a pool table, and a gym. I was miserable by the 3rd day. I went to the mall just to see people. That's right. I went to the mall. I hate the mall.

I guess I just need to find a good median between the two. The problem is, everyone thinks I'm a jerk if I don't want to talk. Sometimes I'm in a moment where I just want to sit there in silence and people try and start up a conversation. When I'm short with them, they try another angle. I think some people absolutely have to have some form of conversation at all times. I am quite the opposite. And the people that I am constantly around are the opposite of me. It's a good fit in a way. But makes me look bad. I guess I could try to embrace social interactions. Or I could just flat out say, "Stop talking to me." But that would just be rude.

I don't really have a main point to this like I normally do. Just wondering if I am alone in wanting to be alone. It doesn't seem like anyone else I know enjoys locking the door and spending time alone while people are in the next room having a good time. Guess I'm just weird.

-mwb

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