Stress...who needs it?

I can't sleep anymore. And I don't know why. I'm not really that stressed. Partly because the things that most people stress about (school, money, etc.) don't mean anything to me. But I think that's why I'm stressed. Because they don't. While most people stress out because finals are coming up, I could care less. All I want to do is get a sheet a paper that says "Yay! You graduated!" I'm not even planning on using it. I get stressed out about the long run. Its not an issue of faith at all. I have 100 percent faith that God will direct me and show me where to go. And with that faith, I will be provided everything I need. But the whole getting there part is what stresses me out. The fact that right now...I don't have a definite plan after college. I know I don't plan on getting a real job. And it's not that I'm trying to take the easy way out. I feel that God has a plan for me to minister to people through music. And I've always felt a calling to that. It's not about fame and money for me, it's about sharing God with other people using the talents that I have.

So why am I stressed? That's the million dollar question. I can't pinpoint it. I think about everything going on, and I'm fine. I can sit here and say with confidence that I'm not worried about my life. God has always provided me with everything I need. But then why do I stay awake at night wondering what I'm doing? That ever so small amount of doubt creeps into my head, and while I know I'm fine, there is a constant battle in my brain. The logical part of me is fighting with the spiritual side. The logical part is telling me I won't make it as a musician. That it's to hard. That it's not worth it. The spiritual side is saying, it might be hard getting there, but with God...everything is possible. And that is what I choose to believe.

So my prayer tonight is for peace. And that even though I don't understand how everything works, I will understand that someone bigger is in control.